NFL Playoffs & Jaguars Decisions

JT: Like a night at The Balcony, or Top of The Stairs, depends on your year. Either way, bad decisions were made just like here in Jacksonville.

Wildcard weekend is over and I must say that things are going my way, with but one little hitch in the giddy-up. I sit here before you all as a conflicted individual. I’m just going to come right out and say it. I like Houston (in this years playoffs). I think I want them to go all the way. Is it wrong that I am actually rooting for the Texans? Yes they are AFC South foes, but they aren’t the Titans. I’ve been attempting to look for reasons to hate them but I’m not finding much. I’ve liked CJ Stroud’s attitude from the beginning. I liked his performance during the combine and I hoped and prayed that Carolina would take him with the number one pick specifically because I didn’t want him in our division. Carolina’s GM is just about as good at assessing talent as certain people we currently have “clowning” around the Jacksonville franchise. Also, in looking at the Texans organization, I like their head coach, DeMeco Ryans, a Houston Texans second round pick in 2006. He more than looks and acts the part, he carries himself as a player’s coach. He’s the type of guy I’d want on my sideline. It just looks like the players want to play for him. I like J.J. Watt (I know he no longer plays for Houston, but imagine if he did…Super Bowl bound they would be). Most of all I love the Texans GM, Nick Caserio. Never met the man. Have no idea what he looks like. Couldn’t pick him out of a lineup. But, he took the job on Jan. 7, 2021 and look what he has done. His past drafts were nothing short of phenomenal. CJ Stroud, Will Anderson Jr., Derek Stingley Jr., Kenyon Green, John Metchie III, Dameon Pierce, Tank Dell, Juice Scruggs, Xavier Hutchinson, and I’m not sure how responsible Caserio is for Nico Collins (2021 draft) but if even a teeny weeny bit of responsibility falls at his feet then, wow what a late round steal. This kid can flat out ball and was overlooked by many for sitting out his final year at Michigan to concentrate on improving his game.

If I could take my pick of GMs and put them in one of those blender cups that the swole guys walk around the gym drinking from, you know the ones with the wire balls in them so that all the PEDs and protein powder will mix thoroughly thus enabling Cam Robinson (I’m still bitter) to enjoy his four game suspension libation without those nasty lumps like the ones you’d find in my Thanksgiving mashed potatoes (bit of a run-on I’d say). There is an “e” at the end of “potato” when pluralized right? Ahhh, all you youngins will have no idea what I’m referencing here. I will say that ever since that spelling mishap by the man one step away from the nuclear codes, I can not write, type, or eat that starchy goodness, sweet or otherwise, without thinking of ol’ Danny-boy. I often times type these tangents and then have to re-read my column to remember what in the Sam Hill I was talking about before getting side tracked. This was no exception. Ah yes, my GM mixed drink. I would take a heaping scoop of the Texans GM and throw in a ton of the Detroit Lions GM and shake that thing like a polaroid picture. I’d then hand it to Shad Khan to enjoy and experience what the Jacksonville Jaguars COULD be if only he’d fire the correct people. Talk about the perfect segue to our next talking point.

Before we leave this part of the column however I will sum it up nicely by saying, AFC South or not, I am rooting for the Texans to go far. I like their collective attitude and work ethic. In addition, I’m rooting for the Lions to go far because I like Dreaj Foge, the Ventura College QB transfer (if you’ve seen it, you know. If you haven’t, you need to. Almost as good as my “think fast, run fast” boy Chad Powers…Almost, but not quite). I love that Goff and the Lions beat the Matthew Stafford led Rams in their wild card game. The Rams traded everything to get Stafford and threw Goff to the wind. While the Rams did win a Super Bowl because of the move, small hands Goff got the better of LA in a head to head playoff game and that was great to see. Also, being a lifelong Redskins fan (let us all bow our heads for a moment of silence to recognize the death of a once great franchise), I am more than pleased with the outcome of the Green Bay Packers/Dallas Cowboys game. Oh Dak. He just can’t win the big games, and it makes me oh so very happy. How ‘bout them Cowboys! Pick up your sticks and get yo’ self a tee time Dallas. Best work on that slice. This leads me to the one hiccup of the weekend. I really wanted Miami to beat KC. I knew it wasn’t going to happen. I know Tua doesn’t win when the temperature is under 45 degrees. I know that Mahomes doesn’t lose at Arrowhead. But, all of that said, I had hope, and hope, as it turns out, is a dangerous bedfellow. The Chiefs eras tour moves on as Swifties everywhere rejoice (at this point I think “Swifties” probably deserves capitalization, frankly I’m shocked that Webster hasn’t added it to his dictionary). I don’t really care much about the Eagles/Bucs game except to say that I like Jalen Hurts but I also hate Philly (NFC East thing that still sticks with me). In addition, I thoroughly enjoyed Baker Mayfield’s Cleveland Browns stadium/home commercials. You know the ones where he and his wife would be sitting in the stands watching a movie on the huge jumbo tron hanging over the middle of the field only to have to walk all the way to a concessions stand to pop some popcorn? Just top notch marketing right there. So I’m not upset that Philly lost. They just took a nose dive, the likes of which Jacksonville fans are familiar, over the second half of the season. As for the Bills and the Burgh, I couldn’t care less about either team. Stephon Diggs is a bit of a primadonna and the Bills mafia whines, upon losing, like a vineyard that sells by the box. In addition, postponing your game because of a bit of snow is just weak sauce (like round two on “Hot Ones” weak). This is American football, boys. Act accordingly. As for Pittsburgh…Meh. Mid. Mediocre. The only thing that excites me about them is the alliteration opportunity they just provided above. So I can’t really say if I am happy or sad about the outcome of the Bills/Steelers game. What I can do is take solace in the fact that the Jaguars beat them both this season. And look at the good that did us. I say again folks, hope is a dangerous bedfellow. Now back to that segue, which I completely destroyed by interrupting my once flawless transition. As a reminder, it was about Shad Khan enjoying a winning GM drink.

Let’s just get right to the point, because I tend to drone on and on. Why does Trent Baalke still have a job in Jacksonville? That’s a little harsh. He can work a job in Jacksonville. I’m happy to have him super size my fries (please bring that back. Stupid Morgan Spurlock and his award winning 2004 documentary killed McDonalds for the rest of us). I wish unemployment upon nobody. In an ideal world, Trent Baalke will be cast aside by Shad Khan and quickly sign up to ruin another team in the AFC South. And since we are talking perfect world scenarios, you got room in your clown car for, run-Trevor-on-a-naked-bootleg-and-risk-our-franchise-QBs-career-when-the-game-was-already-won, offensive coordinater Press Taylor (are those dashes necessary and correct punctuation? Do I care? I have been told I need an editor. I’m happy to review resumes)? Why are the Jaguars blocking other teams from interviewing this man? Why are we holding him back? Taylor deserves to spread his wings and fly, far far away from Duuuval (I know I’ve used this sentence before, but it’s a good one and thus deserves repeating). Alas, Press is tied to Doug’s hip. As Doug goes, so does Taylor. So the question becomes, how many additional seasons will it take for Khan to realize he was exactly that many seasons late in firing Baalke? Let me know your thoughts in the comment section below?